That's the only way I can really describe it. "Struggle." Since my daughter was born about four months ago, it has been a constant struggle to live. Yes, yes, we who have children all know that your life changes soon as you have kids. I was preparing for that to happen for nine and a half months. I get it. But it is NO WHERE close to what I anticipated. It's harder. Not gonna lie (just like everyone does), I have an awesome kid. I have seen some new parents where it is literally Hell on Earth keeping this child alive (some of my dearest friends have had the sweetest and most hellion children I've ever seen). I have it pretty easy, I think, compared. I'm not gonna say I know what certain people are going through with their kids, because all situations are different from the child itself to the parenting style. Again I say, I have it pretty easy. But I am just now being able to write again, four months after she was born. And even then, it's hit or miss. Like last weekend, I was on a role, I must have edited, even completely revamping some of my jazz tunes, probably up near 5-8 charts, updated my website, made sure all of my social networking websites are all on the same page, AND took care of the baby all weekend. But this weekend has been a joke. I've tried to get that fire like I had last weekend and I think I actually destroyed more than I created (in particular, I messed up some of the coding for my website and had to figure out how to fix it). And I just can't. I have literally accomplished nothing this weekend. I even brought my saxophone home to practice. What didn't I do? Practice.
I said all that to say this:
It's quite bothersome because I have been given an opportunity, which I hope will pay off in the long run. A student at University of Southern California contacted me about writing a film score for a documentary. You may not think, this is a big deal, but it really is. So it is both awesome timing AND bad timing because of the ULC next month until April. I haven't really been given a timeline for anything yet, but I really hope I can meet it while going to school at the same time. Challenge.
Anywho, so, whilst not accomplishing anything, I did practice my conducting techniques. I figure I should be able to conduct MY own pieces, right? Of course! So I did that. I also conducted some Holst stuff, mostly because it doesn't get much better than that; not for Concert Band, anyway.
So here's to busy weeks and even busier weekends. Oh, and NO life.